Bolt wins but unhappy Jack Warner, Trinidad & Tobago former politician and former FIFA vice president had harsh words for a U.S.-based television, comedian who bought time on the Caribbean island’s TV6 to plead with him for a tell-all about the scandal which continues to topple highly-placed decision-makers of the sport.
He invoked a four-letter word.
“I don’t need any advice from any comedian fool,” Warner said about John Oliver, the host of a cable show aired here called “Last Week Tonight.”
In addition to calling the comedian a ‘fool,’ Warner said he did not appreciate the fact Oliver “who doesn’t know anything about this country, to tell me what files to release and what not to release. That is not his business. I take no instructions from him and, worse yet, I don’t take any instructions from an American at this point in time,” the 72-year-old politician said.
Oliver is a British-born American resident.
And by the funnyman’s own admission claims to care more about soccer than regular human beings care about anything on earth.
The comedian put his mouth and money on the line by paying Trinidad & Tobago’s TV6 to air a message aimed at Warner.
“Mr. Warner, do not blue-ball the entire planet by promising spectacular FIFA revelations and not delivering. I am begging you; release everything. It’s not like you’re not already, potentially, in a lot of trouble. Seriously, I’ve been looking through the indictment and good luck with that!”
“You owe it to the whole world to tell us. Why should you do it? Well, put it this way, Jack – everybody hates you . . . But if you told on FIFA, do not underestimate how much people might be willing to forgive.”
Warner said it was “incomprehensible” that a local television station would allow “an American foreigner” to embarrass its citizens for a few advertising dollars.
“If a local TV station feels it’s proper to bring an outsider here to embarrass us, then all I can say is heaven help us.”
Warner called on Trinidadians to come together to stand united against outsiders who sought to disrespect them.
During a paid four and a half minute plea entitled “John Oliver: The Mittens of Disapproval Are On” the Englishman heaped a vitriolic monologue — much like the style he implements every Sunday on his HBO show — complete with audience laughter and applause.
He made the appeal in response to Warner’s televised address to Trinidadians the previous week. In the message: “Jack Warner: The Gloves Are Off,” the TT businessman promised to release “an avalanche” of secrets.
Warner said he had compiled a series of documents, including checks and corroborated statements, and would put his alleged FIFA co-conspirators on watch.
Oliver, in his broadcast, dared Warner to follow through on his threat to expose the large amounts of incriminating evidence which he claimed to have about FIFA corruption.
Warner’s acid statement to the comedian continued the war of words which has been raging since the U.S. Department of Justice announced indictments against Warner and 13 FIFA officials — some involved with sports marketing and broadcasting executives — accused of racketeering, wire fraud, money laundering, bribery.
Soon after Janet Lynch, U.S. attorney general announced her findings, Warner threatened to release documents demonstrating the failures of the (FIFA) organization.
Oliver did not miss a beat.
He jumped on the opportunity to address Warner and the people, Oliver saying: “Mr. Warner, do not blue-ball the entire planet by promising spectacular FIFA revelations and not delivering.”
Between attempts at mastering patois, Oliver begged Warner to not give the world “blue balls” by withholding the promised documents, and invited him to join his sons in speaking out against the organization.
“Snitches get smooches,” he promised.
Not since the departure of David Letterman, former host of “The Late Night Show” last month has there been so much excitement about viewing comedic news.
Renewed interest in the entertainment media brewed when the cable TV host and avowed sports fanatic and English funnyman devoted two separate segments of his show to plead with the twin-island’s politician and former FIFA vice-president to spill the beans.
He said he was serious in his call for Warner, whom he said seemed like “an absolutely terrible human being.”
As he continued to address Warner directly, Oliver told him if he gave up the information as promised, he might still be able to salvage his “completely tattered reputation.”
U.S. prosecutors allege Warner and others offered and accepted more than $150 million in bribes and kickbacks over a 24-year period.
Oliver invoked attempts at Trini language in his presentation, saying: “Family, watch me for a minute, nah! What’s the scene? I know you gettin’ tabanca right now.”
And, in acknowledgement of his unfamiliarity with the TT vernacular and accent, added: “I’ll just pause for a second to allow the people of Trinidad to laugh at the whitest person who’s ever lived attempting to speak Trini and, instead sounding real doltish, ent?”
Oliver’s use of select Trinidadian dialect annoyed Warner.
Warner said the comedian was critical of the way Trinidadians speak as well as their culture.
Some people, on the other hand, didn’t take Oliver attempts as serious.
Local comedian Rachel Price said she saw the humor in it.
Despite his joke-filled address, Oliver indicated he was serious when he called for Warner to tell all.
“I am begging you. Release everything because, here’s my argument: Why the hell not? It’s not like you’re not already, potentially, in a lot of trouble…. your sons are already cooperating with the U.S. authorities.”
“You owe it to the whole world to tell us.”
“If you turn on FIFA, do not underestimate how much people might be willing to forgive.
“And if, one day, you end up in jail and you’re staring up at the ceiling, wouldn’t you feel better to know that you took down some people with you? Please, release the documents, Mr. Warner, and you may yet salvage your completely tattered reputation .”
Oliver was referring to the 47-count indictment which alleges that Warner and 13 others — current or former FIFA top officials and sports marketing and broadcasting executives — accused of racketeering, wire fraud, money laundering, bribery.
Comments from T&T nationals on numerous web portals seemed to side with Oliver’s viewpoint.
One blogger said: “Jack, you could say what you want to say, but it was you the man came for! You already dissed Trinidad and yourself! The whole world knows it! As the saying goes, “It is better to be thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Clearly that boat has already sailed for you Jack Warner!!! #disgracedandwouldnotshutthehellup
Catch You On The inside!